Self-talk: How to Avoid Harming Yourself with Your Inner Voice

Imagine that you made a mistake and others see it. What would your first thought be? "I shouldn't have gotten involved in that at all."
"I failed again. Typical."
"Maybe it wasn't ideal, but at least I tried."
"It doesn't matter, at least I know what to do differently next time."
"What will they think of me now?"

Which of the following sentences would you most often say to yourself after a challenging day? "I have to be stronger, I can't collapse like this."
"Can't wait for tomorrow."
"I deserve a rest, today was not easy."
"Why do I feel like I'm still not doing enough?"
"Even if something didn't work out, I still have value."

How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake? I'm trying to fix it immediately and act as if nothing happened.
I think about her a lot and analyze what I did wrong.
I take it as part of the learning process.
I'm mocking myself in my head to "lighten it up."
I feel incompetent and have a need to apologize.

Which of these visions most reminds you of your inner experience? I stand alone in silence and replay everything in my head.
I am running a marathon and I don't know if I will finish.
I am sitting alone on the bench, but I feel at peace.
I am lying on the bed and thinking about everything I haven't managed to do yet.
I'm on stage and everyone is waiting for me not to disappoint.

How does your inner voice react when someone compliments you? "If they knew the truth, they wouldn't say it."
"It's just coincidence, it's not an achievement."
"It's nice, but I don't take it too seriously."
"I guess I did something right after all."
"He's just saying that out of politeness."

How do you imagine the voice that speaks to you inside? As a strict teacher who is anticipating a mistake.
Like an exhausted person who can no longer cope with anything.
As a sensible friend who advises me with perspective.
As a critic who constantly judges me.
Like a quiet voice that occasionally whispers something encouraging.

Imagine that a big challenge awaits you. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? "I can't do this, I don't have it."
"I have to manage it, otherwise I will be a failure."
"I'll see what I learn - it's an experience."
"I hope I won't make a fool of myself."
"I don't know what will happen, but I'm going for it."

When you think back to a time when nothing was going well for you – what did you think about yourself then? That I am completely lost.
That I ruin everything, even when I try.
That it will pass, I just have to find my way.
That I may not be good enough for what I want.
That I have the right to have weak moments.

How do you react when someone else makes a confident statement about themselves? I admire him, but I feel that I couldn't afford it.
I doubt he/she means it seriously.
It inspires me – maybe I could try it too.
I feel inferior.
I wonder what is preventing me from believing in myself like he/she does.

Choose a situation that you would most like to repeat in your inner self: Someone tells me that they admire me.
I can handle something that I thought I couldn't.
Finally, I will tell myself that I am good enough as I am.
I mess something up, but someone tells me, "It's okay."
I sit in silence and feel that I am in harmony with myself.