Understanding Your Child—and Your Own Reactions—Better

Understanding Your Child—and Your Own Reactions—Better

Noticing our own reactions can help us better understand what our child needs and how to talk with them in everyday moments.

When a child’s behavior upsets us, our expectations, tiredness, or memories of our own childhood often come into play, too. Noticing these feelings is no reason to blame ourselves; it can be the first step towards responding more thoughtfully. This blog offers questions for reflection, practical exercises, and conversation prompts to help us separate our own feelings from what our child is trying to show us. In this way, parenting can become a space where both parent and child grow.

Interested in this topic? Read more: Discover the authentic needs of your children: The key to their happiness and development Want to find out where you stand personally? Take a short test at the end of the page and gain a better understanding.

How does this apply to you? Choose the answers that describe you best:

Imagine that your child suddenly stops talking for no apparent reason. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?

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Imagine that your child shows you a drawing that you don't understand at all. How do you react?

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In a situation where a child doesn't want to go to school, your first thought is:

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When your child says they don't like something about you, your emotional reaction is:

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In childhood, you felt understood especially when:

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If your child has a tantrum in public, what affects you the most internally?

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How do you most often recognize that a child is troubled, even if they don't say so?

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If you had to describe the "invisible needs" of children with one image, what would come to your mind spontaneously?

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If a child has a recurring problem, your internal setting is closest to:

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When you imagine the ideal relationship between a parent and a child, what comes to your mind first?

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How to recognize the hidden needs of your children and fulfill them.

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