First, identify the problem you’re dealing with

One technique won’t work for everything

You have more work than you can finish. At the same time, you’re dealing with a conflict with a colleague and uncertainty about an important decision. All three situations may feel stressful, but they call for different responses.

Ask yourself: Is this a specific task, a strong emotion, overwhelm, conflict, or uncertainty? For a specific task, it helps to identify the next step. When emotions are strong, it may be better to calm down first and decide later. With overwhelm, you may need to adjust the scope and priorities. A conflict may call for a conversation; uncertainty may call for checking what information is available.

Sometimes these types overlap. If you’ve argued with a colleague and are also behind on a deadline, a short break may ease the tension, but it won’t solve the work problem. You’ll also need to agree on the tasks.

Remember the difference between what you can influence and what you can’t influence right now. For the latter, you can choose how to respond, seek support, or decide when to check again. Don’t expect to have complete control over the outcome.

Also consider whether a step is genuinely within your control. If it isn’t, look for a person or source of support that may be able to influence the situation.

Try it in practice: Describe your last stressful situation using one of the five types. If there were several causes, identify the two most important. Suggest a separate, doable next step for each one.