Family and relationships
Children
How to recognize the hidden needs of your children and fulfill them.

Family and relationships

Children
Parenting
Upbringing
Motivating children
Family relationships
Gentle discipline
Parental cooperation
Safety routine
Shared rituals
Family memory

How to recognize the hidden needs of your children and fulfill them.

Family and relationships

Children
Parenting
Upbringing
Motivating children
Family relationships
Gentle discipline
Parental cooperation
Safety routine
Shared rituals
Family memory

Imagine that your child suddenly stops talking for no apparent reason. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Select an answer:

Maybe he's just playing a game, I'm watching what he'll do next. Something has to happen – I immediately find out what is going on. I will give him space, but quietly I start to fear that it is my fault. I will start to question my conscience whether I have overburdened it or neglected something. My brain freezes, I don't know what to do – I hope it passes by itself.

Imagine that your child shows you a drawing that you don't understand at all. How do you react?

Select an answer:

I smile and ask what it means – let him explain it to me. I'll say something neutral; I don't want to offend him. I'm trying to find the hidden meaning – what is it trying to tell me? I will tell him that it is beautiful, even though inside I feel uncertainty. I will start to wonder if everything is alright with him – that drawing disturbs me.

In a situation where a child doesn't want to go to school, your first thought is:

Select an answer:

He doesn't want to, it's just a lazy day. Maybe something happened there - I'm going to investigate. I'm wondering if I pushed him/her too much. I feel anger – school is mandatory and you have to go there. It worries me – I'm thinking about what it needs and I can't name it.

When your child says they don't like something about you, your emotional reaction is:

Select an answer:

I am curious – I am asking why they feel that way. It stings me a little, but I'm trying not to show it. I feel guilty – I have to make things right. I will get angry – after all, I am not a bad parent. I am closing myself off – I feel like the child is rejecting me.

In childhood, you felt understood especially when:

Select an answer:

Someone spent time with me without any expectations. Someone was listening to me attentively. Someone understood me even without words. Someone gave me practical help or advice. I was invisible, but no one pressured me.

If your child has a tantrum in public, what affects you the most internally?

Select an answer:

The need of a child – I want to help him, not silence him. Concern about what others think. The feeling of failure as a parent. Anger – I don't understand why he can't control himself. Helplessness - I don't know exactly what he/she needs.

How do you most often recognize that a child is troubled, even if they don't say so?

Select an answer:

Based on the change in facial expression or eyes. From his behavior – he starts to become quiet or aggressive. I intuitively feel it, even though nothing specific can be seen. They will start to avoid contact or routine. I need to be hugged more or to be physically close.

If you had to describe the "invisible needs" of children with one image, what would come to your mind spontaneously?

Select an answer:

An empty room with closed doors. A garden full of seeds waiting for the sun. A mirror without reflection. A song without words. A maze with a hidden exit.

If a child has a recurring problem, your internal setting is closest to:

Select an answer:

Maybe he is trying to tell him something and doesn't know how. We need to look for a system and a solution. I wonder if it’s not something that I reflect back to him. I have to teach him how to behave. I will stop and wait for something to reveal itself.

When you imagine the ideal relationship between a parent and a child, what comes to your mind first?

Select an answer:

A dialogue in silence – without words, yet full of understanding. Shared laughter and shared experiences. A hug that heals. A child who is not afraid to be themselves. The feeling that both are growing together – each at their own pace.

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