A clear request instead of a personal judgment

Say what needs to change

In a meeting, a colleague repeatedly interrupts you before you’ve finished explaining. “Be considerate for once” names a value but doesn’t make a specific proposal. You could say: “You interrupted me before I’d finished explaining the last two points. I need to finish explaining the process so we can make a decision. Please let me finish this point, then I’ll turn to your objection.”

A useful guide is situation, impact, need, request. You don’t need to deliver it as four memorized sentences. What matters is that the other person understands what you’re responding to and what change you’re asking for. The request should fit the situation and be within your authority. Asking to finish your point doesn’t mean banning disagreement.

A statement that starts with “I” isn’t necessarily factual. “I feel you’re selfish” still judges the person and attributes a characteristic to them. It’s more precise to describe your own experience: “When the brief changes without warning, I can’t confirm the deadline.” Then make a specific proposal, such as checking the impact of a change before making a promise to the client.

If you contributed to the problem, acknowledge your part without adding a qualification that cancels out the apology. “I sent an incomplete brief. I’ll fill it in by three today.” After that, you can address the other person’s responsibility. Being clear doesn’t mean using a harsh tone or giving a long explanation. Once you’ve made your request, give the other person a chance to respond and check whether it’s workable.