Emotions in a team: information for better conversations

You can’t control the atmosphere by issuing an order

There’s silence in a meeting, even though the project deadline is clearly under pressure. A manager might assume everyone agrees. But silence could also mean uncertainty, fatigue or fear of speaking up. Emotional intelligence isn’t about reading minds; it’s about noticing a signal and checking what it means without jumping to conclusions.

Instead of saying, “I can see you’re unhappy,” try asking, “Is there anything in this proposal we still need to check?” That gives people room to raise concerns without attributing a feeling to them that they may not have.

If a colleague responds irritably, you could describe what’s happening: “This conversation is getting heated. Let’s come back to which two tasks are competing for time.” That doesn’t mean you have to dismiss their point. It’s more helpful to separate the emotion from the practical issue and look for a decision.

Creating a safe atmosphere also depends on how you respond to disagreement. If you ask for feedback but later mock people for giving it, your invitation to speak openly won’t mean much. Trust is reflected in what you do afterwards.

Not everyone wants to discuss personal feelings at work. Respect their privacy and let people describe a work-related obstacle without having to disclose their emotions.

Try it out: At your next group discussion, ask an open question about risks. After someone responds, summarise what needs to be decided without assuming other people’s motives.