When someone disagrees with you

A calm response doesn’t mean backing down

Imagine a colleague challenges your proposal by saying, “That’ll never work in practice.” Your first instinct might be to defend your work or ridicule them. But if you want to reach a good decision, you need to find out exactly what they’re objecting to.

Try three steps: clarify the claim, acknowledge what can be verified and state your own position. “Are you concerned about the cost or the timeline? I agree that the timeline is tight. I suggest we check two alternatives, because the current approach reduces errors.”

Asking for clarification isn’t a sign of weakness. It stops two people from arguing about different things. Acknowledging a specific risk doesn’t mean you have to accept the entire counterargument. And you can state your position clearly without making a personal attack.

If you don’t know the answer, say so clearly: “I haven’t checked this part of the costs. I’ll add that information before we decide.” That protects your credibility. Avoid making promises you can’t keep just to sound confident.

Not every conflict should be resolved immediately. If people are exhausted or the conversation turns insulting, you can suggest a break and agree to return to the issue later. If someone is intimidating you, protecting your boundaries matters more than continuing the debate.

Try it out: Think of a calm reply to “That won’t work.” Include one question, one verifiable point and one request of your own. Practise saying it out loud.