Your child looks at the workbook and says, âI donât know how to do it.â You sit down, explain the task, and finish it together. Then the same thing happens with the next exercise. At that point, it helps to find out what kind of support your child actually needs. Is there a word they do not understand, do they not know how to begin, or do they want to check their approach?
With younger children, you can practise making a specific request for help. The child learns to show what they already understand and where they got stuck. You get a clearer idea of what needs explaining. This approach is meant to support the conversation; do not make help conditional on mastering the technique.
First, find the point where learning stopped
You do not need to respond to a general âI donât knowâ with a full explanation straight away. Try asking one question: âCan you show me where you got stuck?â Then let the child talk, point to the workbook, or draw. If they cannot answer, go through the beginning of the task together and look for the first unclear point.
Silence alone does not tell you whether the difficulty is reading, understanding the subject matter, or putting a question into words. Treat the situations below as possibilities to check together with your child.
| Possible difficulty | How to clarify it | What the child might ask |
|---|---|---|
| They do not understand a word in the instructions. | Ask them to point to the word or sentence that is unclear. | âWhat does âcompareâ mean here?â |
| They do not know what the task should produce. | Discuss what they need to hand in or find at the end. | âDo I need to write the answer or the method as well?â |
| They understand the goal but do not know how to continue. | Look at the last step they still understand. | âCan you explain what I should do after this calculation?â |
| They have an answer but do not know how to check it. | Ask which part they are unsure about. | âHow can I tell whether my answer fits the question?â |
Your child may need help with reading the very first sentence. If so, start there. They do not need to produce an incorrect solution before they are entitled to an explanation.
Offer three sentence starters
Once you have found the unclear point, offer your child a simple structure. At first, completing just one sentence may be enough. Add the others only when needed.
- âI understand thatâŠâ The child identifies what is clear: âI need to find out how many crayons there are altogether.â
- âI triedâŠâ The child shows what they have already done: âI drew some boxes.â If they have not tried anything yet, you can skip this part.
- âI need help understandingâŠâ The child identifies the specific gap: âHow do I write the picture as a calculation?â
You do not need to use the structure for every task. Its purpose is to help you understand each other. If your child says, in their own words, âI donât understand this line,â you can respond directly. Correcting their wording at that moment would add another task to the one they are already struggling with.
What a conversation about one task might look like
Example situation: The child needs to find the number of crayons in three boxes, with eight crayons in each box. They draw three boxes and then say they do not know what to do next. The parent first checks whether they understand the words âin eachâ and asks them to add the contents of the boxes to the drawing.
The child draws eight crayons in each box. They can count them but do not know how to write the calculation. Together, they formulate the request: âCan you show me how to write down what I counted?â The parent now knows that the focus should be on moving from the picture to the written calculation.
The parent might ask, âHow could we write the number in the first box and add the number in the second?â They use an approach the child knows from school. If multiplication has not been introduced yet, they can work with addition instead. Leave the next part of the written work to the child, then check together whether it matches the picture.
If the child still cannot continue after the explanation, you do not need to keep asking questions. You can show one step directly and then let them try a similar one. A specific request helps you decide where to begin; it does not determine how much explanation will be enough.
Agree on the next step after explaining
Once your child has received help, agree on what they will do independently next. They might read the next sentence, write one calculation, or find a piece of information in the text. âNow try writing the calculation for the third boxâ is more specific than âNow carry on.â
If they ask for help again after a while, check whether the difficulty is the same or a new one. Solving one unclear point may not be enough for the whole task. The child may understand the calculation but still need help writing the answer in words.
If your child wants confirmation after every line, you can agree to check after one complete exercise when the task is familiar. First, show them what they can check along the way, such as whether they have used all the information in the instructions. If it becomes clear that they do not understand the method, return to the explanation.
Prepare one useful question for school
You can also use the conversation at home to prepare a question for the teacher. At a calm moment, swap roles: you become the teacher and your child shows you the unclear part of the task. One short practice attempt is enough to try the opening and the request.
The question might be: âI worked out the first part, but I do not know what to do with this number. Could you explain it to me?â The child can point to the specific number. They do not need to memorise the entire sentence.
If asking in front of the class is difficult, find out with the teacher which ways of asking for help are possible in the classroom. It might be asking a question during independent work, having a short conversation after the instructions, or pointing to a marked place in the workbook. The arrangement needs to be clear to the child and workable for the teacher.
You can also practise what to say when the first explanation is not enough: âI understand the beginning, but I still do not know why we subtract here.â This gives the child words for a follow-up question. They do not need to pretend to understand simply because someone has already answered once.
Adapt the conversation to what your child can manage
If your child is upset, crying, or refusing to talk about the task, put the practice aside. Offer a break and return to one specific point later. At that moment, you do not need to get a precise answer to every question you have.
When reading or expressive language is difficult, read the instructions together, mark the unclear word, or use a drawing. Showing the problem is also a form of communication. Adapt the length and complexity of the conversation to what your child can express.
If your child repeatedly gets stuck on the same subject even with your help, talk to the teacher using a specific example of their work. Explain what the child managed, where they stopped, and what explanation you tried. Together, you can decide which material needs to be reviewed or what further support may be needed. Practising how to ask for help cannot replace missing subject knowledge.
Try just one change during the next study session
Choose the sentence âShow me which part you need help withâ and use it during the next suitable task. Then help your child complete the question and focus on the marked point. There is no need to make cards or introduce a new study routine.
During later tasks, notice whether your child can point to an unclear word, explain what they tried, or say that they need an example. When they do, describe the specific benefit: âWhen you showed me this line, I knew what I needed to explain.â This gives them clear feedback about how their question helped them get support.
