How to Work Effectively with a Colleague You Don’t Click With

You will not like every colleague. Their communication style, pace of work, need to take charge or tendency to stay passive may frustrate you. Yet you may still need to plan projects, share information and make decisions together. The aim is not to force a friendship, but to make sure personal dislike does not undermine the work or the day-to-day atmosphere.

It helps to separate two questions: “Do I like this person?” and “Can we work together professionally?” The answer to the first can remain no. The second can often improve with clear expectations, direct communication and realistic boundaries.

Separate personal dislike from a specific work problem

“We don’t click” can describe very different situations. Sometimes it is simply a difference in style. In other cases, the person’s behaviour genuinely makes the work harder.

Try to identify exactly what is bothering you:

• Communication style: Your colleague is too brief, loud, sarcastic or long-winded.
• Work pace: They work much faster or more slowly than you do.
• Responsibilities: Tasks get passed around, deadlines are missed or ownership is unclear.
• Different values: You have different ideas about fairness, quality or accountability.
• Personal dislike: You simply do not feel a connection, even though they do their work properly.

This distinction matters because not every uncomfortable feeling calls for a work-related solution. If your colleague is reliable and the issue is only personal chemistry, professional distance may be enough.

You do not need to be close to trust each other at work

Trust at work does not have to mean personal closeness. It can rest on more practical things: meeting deadlines, sharing accurate information, handing over tasks clearly and behaving predictably.

If you do not like a colleague, focus on these concrete signs. Instead of asking, “Can I trust them as a person?”, ask:

• Do they follow through on what they promise?
• Do they tell me promptly when a problem comes up?
• Do they respect the responsibilities we have agreed on?
• Can we resolve disagreements constructively?

This approach makes it less likely that a personal impression will colour your assessment of all their work.

Agree on how to work together before problems arise

When people naturally get along, many things happen intuitively. If there is tension, it is better not to rely on assumptions. Make expectations explicit instead.

The less room there is for unclear expectations, the fewer situations you will have to interpret through the lens of personal dislike.

Talk about behaviour, not someone’s character

If something about the collaboration is bothering you, describe the specific behaviour and its impact on the work. “You’re unreliable” judges the person. “I need to know about delays sooner because my work depends on your part” identifies the problem.

A useful way to phrase it has three parts:

1. What happened: Describe it without judgement or exaggeration.
2. What the impact was: Explain how it affected the task, deadline or team.
3. What you need next time: Ask for a specific change in behaviour.

For example: “The materials arrived on the day of the presentation, so I didn’t have time to review them. Next time, I need them at least a day in advance. If that won’t be possible, please let me know sooner.”

Do not confuse professional distance with ignoring someone

Keeping interactions to a necessary minimum can make sense in some situations. The problem starts when distance turns into withholding important information, going around your colleague or treating them with deliberate coldness.

Professional distance means that you:

• communicate politely and stay focused on the work,
• share information the other person needs to do their job,
• avoid unnecessary personal interaction if it does not feel comfortable,
• do not use other colleagues as go-betweens when you can speak directly.

This protects your boundaries without turning personal dislike into a problem for the whole team.

Check whether one strong impression is shaping your view

When we dislike someone, we are more likely to notice behaviour that confirms our opinion. One unpleasant experience can then influence how we interpret later situations.

You do not need to convince yourself that your colleague is secretly a wonderful person. It is enough to ask yourself two questions from time to time:

• What do I know? Which specific events support my conclusion?
• What am I assuming? Which motives or intentions am I attributing to them without being sure?

For example, a brief email reply might signal disinterest, but it could also reflect a heavy workload or simply a concise communication style. If the outcome matters, check what they meant rather than automatically choosing the least charitable explanation.

Look for a workable agreement, not complete agreement

Some workplace conflicts drag on because one person wants more than an agreement: they also want the other person to accept that their way of seeing things is right.

When working with someone you do not click with, it can be more practical to aim for the minimum agreement needed to move forward. You do not have to share the same working style if you can agree on the outcome, deadline and responsibilities.

For instance, one of you may prefer detailed planning while the other prefers to improvise. You do not need to decide which approach is better. You can agree on check-in points that give one person enough certainty and the other enough flexibility.

A shared project as an example

Imagine you are preparing a customer presentation with a colleague. You are frustrated that they leave everything until the last minute. They, in turn, feel that you plan in too much detail.

Instead of arguing over who has the right approach, you could agree to work this way:

1. Shared goal: The presentation will be ready two days before the meeting.
2. Division of work: Each person is responsible for a specific section.
3. Check-in point: Review a draft four days before the meeting.
4. Room for different styles: Between check-ins, each person can organise their work as they prefer.
5. What to do if there is a problem: Flag any risk of delay immediately.

This arrangement may not change your personal relationship. It can, however, reduce the number of situations where different working styles turn into conflict.

Do not pull other colleagues into a personal conflict

When someone gets on our nerves, it is natural to seek validation from other people. A brief vent may seem harmless, but it can easily lead to people taking sides and tension spreading through the team.

If you need to discuss the issue with someone else, focus on the work itself: “I need to sort out how we hand over materials because the deadline keeps slipping.” That is different from trying to get others to agree that your colleague is impossible.

An exception is serious or repeated inappropriate behaviour that needs to be raised with a manager or another appropriate person. Even then, it helps to bring specific incidents and their impact, not a list of personal judgements.

When it may help to get to know your colleague better

Not every case of personal dislike calls for more contact. But a brief informal conversation or working together on a smaller task may help, especially if your opinion is based on only a few interactions.

This may be worthwhile when:

• you will be working together for a long time,
• mutual distrust is making routine decisions harder,
• you feel you know each other only through tense situations,
• the issue may be a difference in style rather than unfair behaviour.

The aim is not to force a friendship. It is simply to understand better how the other person thinks and what they need from the collaboration.

When better communication is not enough

Not every problem can be solved by being more patient or more precise. If there is repeated humiliation, taking credit for someone else’s work, breaking agreements, deliberately withholding information or other behaviour with a serious impact on the work, the issue is no longer just a matter of personal compatibility.

In that case, record specific incidents, their impact and the steps already taken to address them. Depending on the seriousness, you may need to involve a manager or use another internal process.

A short plan for your next challenging collaboration

The next time you need to work with someone whose personality does not suit you, try this approach:

1. Name the specific problem and separate it from general dislike.
2. Clarify the shared goal so you both know what you need to achieve.
3. Agree on ground rules for tasks, deadlines and communication.
4. Talk about behaviour and its impact, not the person’s character.
5. Check your interpretation when you are unsure about the other person’s intentions.
6. Keep a reasonable distance if personal closeness is not necessary.
7. Address serious, repeated problems more formally if a straightforward agreement is not enough.

Good working relationships do not require you to feel personally close to everyone. In many teams, a more realistic goal is predictable, fair and effective collaboration, even between people who probably would not be close outside work.