Active listening

Imagine that a friend is telling you about their problem, but you are tired and have your own worries. How do you react?

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I will try to concentrate and at least indicate to him that I am listening to him. I admit that I am tired and suggest that we talk later. I am trying to respond, even if just superficially, so that I don't come across as rude. I will ask him for more details to buy some time to concentrate. I will quickly change the topic to something less demanding.

Someone is giving you important information, but they are speaking very quickly and unclearly. How do you respond?

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I'll wait to see if I understand it from the context, and if not, I'll just nod. I will ask him to repeat it more slowly or differently. I'll say something vague so as not to hold up. I'm trying to capture keywords and infer the rest from them. I will mimic his fast storytelling style to show that I understand him.

Your friend is just expressing their feelings that are important to them. How do you respond to them?

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I will try to find a similar experience and tell him about it. I will make it clear to him that I understand him, even though I do not agree with it. I will suggest a solution on how he could handle the situation better. I will ask him what exactly he needs from me right now. I maintain eye contact and nod to show him that I'm with him.

In a group discussion, someone feels overlooked and is not given the opportunity to speak. What will you do?

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I will remind others that we could give him the floor. I'll wait to see if he reaches out on his own, and if not, I won't dwell on it. I will start talking about something similar to direct attention to this topic. Later, I will privately ask him what he thinks about it. I will encourage him with a nonverbal signal (e.g., a look) to get involved.

During a conversation with someone, you realize that you are more preoccupied with thinking about your response than what the other person is saying. How do you approach this?

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I will consciously try to stop and focus on his words. I will let the conversation flow, but I will try to look focused. I will wait for a moment of silence and then I will ask for the last point to be repeated. I will start asking questions to better tune into the conversation. I continue with my inner monologue, but I try to respond appropriately.

When you talk to someone, what way of expression from the other person disturbs you the most?

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When they keep straying from the topic and don't focus on the essentials. When he talks for too long without a break. When he speaks softly and I have to ask him what he said. When it has an aggressive or overly confident tone. When someone constantly tries to joke and takes things lightly.

A friend confides in you about something that is very important to him, but you disagree with it. How do you react?

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I will try to understand his perspective, even though it doesn't seem right to me. I will tell him my opinion, but in a way that won't offend him. I will focus on his feelings, not on whether I agree with him. I'll try to convince him that my opinion is better. I will change the topic to avoid a possible argument.

When you are telling someone something important, what do you expect the other person to do?

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He will maintain eye contact and show me that he is listening. He will actively respond and ask questions. He won't interrupt me and will let me say everything. They will try to understand and will not judge immediately. He will try to find solutions to what I am saying to him.

How do you react when someone distorts or misinterprets what you said?

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I would calmly fix it and explain it better. I would just nod if it weren't very important. I would try to ask how he arrived at that conclusion. I would leave it as it is and continue the conversation. I would try to say it in other words to make it clearer.

How do you know that someone is truly actively listening to what you are saying?

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Maintains eye contact and nods. Sometimes he/she repeats or summarizes what I said. Ask positive questions about what I'm saying. His reactions are sincere and related to the topic. He gives me his full attention and doesn't let his thoughts wander elsewhere.

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Active listening

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