Bring empathy into everyday conversations

Checking your assumptions should change what you do next

A colleague refuses to lead part of a meeting with a customer. You assume he’s afraid of speaking in front of people, but when you ask, he explains that the technical details haven’t been confirmed. If you still start coaching his confidence, you haven’t used the new information. An empathetic approach means adjusting both your initial assumption and the help you offer.

Try this simple guide: notice, ask, check what it means, agree on a next step, and follow up later to see if it helped. In this example, you could say: “So you need the details confirmed, not practice speaking. Can I help find out today who can verify them?” Your colleague can accept, adapt, or decline the offer.

Over the next week, choose one everyday situation where you tend to give advice quickly or guess how someone feels. Before offering advice, ask one question about what they need. You don’t have to follow a fixed script in every conversation. Pay particular attention to moments when new information doesn’t fit your first assumption.

After providing the help you agreed on, check whether it met the need. Don’t judge success only by whether the person thanks you or you feel good about it. It also matters whether they could disagree, keep their privacy, and receive the support you agreed on. If you were wrong, correct your assumption without getting defensive. In this course, empathy means being willing to find out, respond appropriately, and respect boundaries; it doesn’t promise to resolve every disagreement.