A short emotional intelligence practice

Don’t test your worth; practise a specific response

Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean always staying calm or knowing exactly what other people think. It’s a set of practical skills you can practise in everyday situations: naming your feelings, checking an assumption, listening to someone, and choosing an appropriate response.

To start, choose one type of situation, such as criticism, changes of plan, or uncomfortable questions. For two weeks, briefly note three things after a similar conversation: what happened, what you felt, and how you responded. There’s no need to keep a detailed journal or grade yourself.

Look for changes in behaviour, not perfect emotions. You may still feel angry, but instead of sending a harsh email, you ask a clarifying question. That’s a specific difference you can observe.

If an attempt doesn’t go well, don’t label yourself “emotionally immature.” Ask yourself what made the situation difficult. Were you tired? Was the question unexpected? Did you need more time? Use your answer to adjust what you try next.

Respect others while practising, too. You don’t have to analyse every gesture or insist on conversations about feelings. People have a right to privacy and their own boundaries.

If recurring emotional difficulties seriously affect your ability to function or your safety, a simple exercise may not be enough. Professional support is a reasonable option, not a sign of failure.

Try it out: Complete these four sentences: “When…”, “I usually feel…”, “Instead, I’ll try…”, and “I’ll check the impact by…”. Then identify your first opportunity to practise.