Balancing feelings and reason when making decisions

A feeling is important information, but it isn’t the whole story

Imagine receiving an offer for an interesting job. You’re excited about the new opportunity, but worried about the commute. Neither feeling tells you automatically what to decide. Emotions can highlight what matters to you; facts help you assess the conditions.

Try breaking the decision into three parts. What am I feeling? For example, curiosity and uncertainty. What do I know? The pay, working hours, responsibilities, and travel options. What matters to me? Maybe learning, stability, or time with family.

You can use the same approach for a smaller decision. After a difficult experience with a salesperson, you might want to end the relationship straight away. First, check whether it was a one-off misunderstanding or a recurring problem that affects your trust.

Some emotions may be a response to real danger. So you shouldn’t automatically dismiss them as an obstacle to rational thinking. If you feel unsafe, protecting your safety comes before a perfect analysis.

For an important decision, it can help to work out what else you need to find out and when you’ll decide. Without a deadline, you may go back and forth between excitement and worry without making real progress.

Try it out: For one decision you’re facing, write down your emotions, verifiable facts, and personal values. Then identify one piece of information that could change your decision.